


Save Me Before I Fall

by rischaa



Series: OiKage Fics [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, i'm not sure if this is good angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 21:17:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7405138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rischaa/pseuds/rischaa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa is just a third year college student with Kageyema as his dorm mate who is a first year college student. Kageyama is on the edge of the cliff, in love and doesn't know what to do. Oikawa pulls him back.</p><p>a.k.a the fic where OiKage are in the same dorm and things are emotionally complicated, goals are thwarted because of each other, and they're just so conflicted</p>
            </blockquote>





	Save Me Before I Fall

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eleasofia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eleasofia/gifts).



> thank you so much for inspiring me and replying to long comments such as mine. i like your current work a lot and the angst in it inspired this. it's not that good and it's even unbeta'd. you're a much better writer than i am and i feel ashamed of even dedicating this fic to you. 
> 
> i just wanna thank you lots for even helping me in ways you don't even know. you helped me stay confident as i wrote my essay for a worldwide competition. so thanks, a lot. 
> 
> i hope you like this fic in where i think tobio is also suffering in the same way as oikawa would. i hope i kept them in character enough. thanks again.

Oikawa opened the door to his college dorm lazily in exhaustion. The lamp was open and it illuminated the dim room and Oikawa could barely make out the music playing too loudly from earphones nearby. It was too eerily quiet in the room and it sent shivers down his spine. He laid his uniform on his swivel chair, not properly folded.

Oikawa was confused as he saw a pile of books and messed up notes on the table along with crumpled papers on the cold floor; but he saw no one there. Usually after midnight, his dorm mate would still be awake studying and it was unusual that he saw no one’s face buried in studies. He had been studying so hard too- it can’t be that he’s gotten the lessons by now. Algebraic number theories seemed to kill Tobio as much as it did to him back in his first year.

As he saw the notes of Tobio, his smirk had turned into a frown. He’d usually see quotes of motivation next to his math and biology notes but he saw none of those this night. It scared him when he saw his notes from class almost destroyed. It was like a lion had ripped through his notes, struggling not to destroy it.

He called out Tobio’s name but got no response. His heart was beating loudly and it felt weird.

Oikawa was two years older than him and he told himself that when he met him after two years in college, he won’t get emotionally attached. He swore to his heart and Iwaizumi that he won’t fall in love secretly like back in his third year of high school. It was a mix of admiration and anger back in high school. He was scared of Tobio’s talents in the sport and this was normal. What wasn’t normal was he soon started to space out and daydream of the guy during his classes after the spring tournament. He even felt a little proud and smiled after Karasuno had won against Shiratorizawa.

He _had_ smiled genuinely; no faking at all. Just because of Tobio.

Oikawa Tooru was one who kept to his own goals and there was reason he made that certain goal when the very embodiment of Kageyama Tobio had entered ‘their’ dorm. He was too beautiful and he had a softer vibe towards him, so damn naïve and pretty.

Tobio had his hair tied up and a few strands hanging in front. He wore a sweater that was bunched up in his hands and jogging pants. Oikawa had a feeling that his sports shirt was right under that sweater- he was wrong. When he had changed clothes, under that sweater was a body that almost parred with his own. He had toned abs and Oikawa had almost described it as _‘sexy’._ He was attracted to him and not only that; he felt his heart beat quicker than it ever had when he had mumbled _‘hi’_ to him.

He was so damn fucked and he had no idea what to do.

His hair, his lips, his body, his eyes, his everything- it kept Oikawa on the edge and it drove him crazy at night. So crazy that he almost couldn’t control his drunken state that one time and had almost kissed him when he came back to the dorm at one o’clock. He technically didn’t remember but Tobio had rephrased the whole scene as, _‘Oikawa-san, you almost drunk kissed me and you smelt like a pig.’_

Oikawa felt so lost and betrayed. Betrayed because he had fallen in love with him and lost because he didn’t know what to do with these feelings that had changed over time. He usually knows what to do with things like these but the feelings from previous relationships were different from now. Back then, he’d feel so carefree to do anything he liked, but now, he was scared to make a decision.

Oikawa Tooru was one that doesn’t get scared by many things but as time went over his life, it had turned him into a coward in love. He was many things, a guy who didn’t look gay yet he was, he had a perfect life but he didn’t, a guy who looked fine but wasn’t. Oikawa was like a vase that was broken, oh, so many times and put back together by glue that didn’t last long.

Nobody really understood him and he never expected Tobio to be the same. He never knew until this very crucial moment and it tugged his heartstrings so hard that his heart almost fell apart.

The male sat there curled into a ball, his hands wrapped around his legs, and whispering several words to himself that Oikawa can barely hear like a chant. As Oikawa closed in towards the man, he heard phrases, broken phrases- it resembled so much like him back in his high school days.

The male in front of him, Kageyama Tobio, was crying. The man who had a cute, focused, little pout when tried to properly study. The man who wore nerdy glasses and tied up his luscious, long raven hair. The guy who bites his lip when he’s pissed. The man who used to have a nasty personality and a strong will- was _crying._

The guy he liked- a better word would be _love,_ was crying so helplessly.

_(he’s going to go down the same path as I am, shit, I can’t let him/ you’re such a pain, tobio-chan)_

* * *

Tobio was so tired of studying. He’s gotten warnings for his final exams this coming month of finals and it’s driving him crazy. He was going to fail and stay for another year, and that was bad. He can’t go on living with ramen and junk food along with a huge amount of caffeine every night. He also can’t go on with the constant nagging of his parents that he should quit volleyball. Like hell he would—but right now, that was probably the only best choice out there. Tobio can’t take the overwhelming pressure in his head and the hurt in his heart right now.

He just needed to be saved from this pit where he can’t see any light. He doesn’t need _just_ anyone to save him. Tobio wanted the brunette to save him.

Tobio hated crying and he always had; ever since he was small. He hated crying because that meant he was weak. He wanted to be strong just like Oikawa and he was pretty sure that Oikawa never cried. He admired how strong the setter was and somehow along the way, he had fallen in love with him.

He didn’t mean to fall in love with him and he was a hundred percent sure that he was straight before he entered ‘their’ dorm. He was straight; but that was until he saw a side of Oikawa he never knew he had. Oikawa had this look that was so soft, you could mistake him for an angel and he had this pretty smile he liked a ton. Oikawa could also get pissed when he talked with Iwaizumi on the phone and it confused Tobio so much.

So, Tobio decided on one o’clock on a night when Oikawa was drunk and had nearly kissed him, he had fallen in love with the most beautiful enigma out there.

Yes, Oikawa Tooru, was an enigma to him. He had beautiful hair, he had a pretty smile when not faked, he had a crazily hot body that he found arousing when he undressed, and he had this cute annoyed face he made when he comes back from his midnight shift as a barista. He liked the way, Oikawa had grown a little kinder towards him and Tobio just hated it when Oikawa teased him like the old days.

There were no flaws in Oikawa and he knew that, but he was sure that even Oikawa had flaws; he was a human after all- and selfish at that. Just like him.

Tobio was losing hope- he can’t make anyone happy, he can’t fall for a man, he can’t love Oikawa, he can’t pass his exams and trying to fall out of love is _so_ damn hard.

Even harder when the words you’ve been waiting to hear from the man you love is finally whispering them in your ears.

_‘i’m here, there’s no need to worry. you can do this.’_

_(liar. liar. you hate me. liar. **you’re such a fucking liar!)**_

-

Tobio was shivering and crying and it was such a terrible sight to see. He had these eyes that looked so scared. His hair was disheveled, probably from pulling it. He can hear him say so many things: _‘i can’t fail.’ ‘i’m not in love with him.’ ‘i’m straight, okay? you can’t fall for him.’ ‘fuck, he can’t love me, i’m dumb as fuck.’ ‘my future is gone. i’m losing it, shit.’_

Oikawa saw a reflection of himself right in front of him from his high school years. So he tells him in his ears, his breath insanely warm, “I’m here, there’s no need to worry. You can do this.”

Tobio then screamed. It was deafeningly loud and it was his turn to be scared.

_(tobio, please, you can’t, i’m not lying. i think I like you, no shit, i love you, i think, ah, fuck. You can’t lose it like i did, not yet)_

Oikawa bumped his forehead against Tobio’s real hard to snap him back to reality. He does and was met with a pair of widened blue eyes that are darker than he’s ever seen.

It’s somewhat attractive. _(damn it, i hate you so much, tobio-chan)_

Their breaths are held by their throats, silence closing into the room, it’s sudden.

Oikawa could see Tobio’s upper lip quivering and it was bleeding a little. Even at these times, he managed to look hot and cute at the same time. His hormones were going crazy as of now and Oikawa was sure of it. He wanted to kiss those lips of his that might not even kiss him back.

He took a risk.

His lips are soft and it’s chaste and unhurried. Tobio’s lips fits perfectly against him and he’s- no, he is- he’s kissing back and it’s so warm. He kisses him to make him feel safe, to make him feel perfect. It’s so beautiful and it’s like magic.

When they stop, Oikawa saw Tobio look disappointed. He followed Tobio’s gaze at his arms. Oikawa assumed the worst, making him pull his sleeves upward. Tooru saw a clumsily bandaged wrist soaked in blood.

_(fuck, i was too late...)_

“You _just_ had to go down the same path as I did, didn’t you?”

* * *

Oikawa’s voice was like heaven and so were his smooth lips. Tobio was scared of what just happened. Oikawa has just found out about his cuts and there were tears forming in his eyes.

_(he hates me. i know he does. he’ll never love me, that’s good, but somehow i still want him to love me, fuck, please save me because i’m broken)_

Tobio brought him into a slight embrace but Oikawa doesn’t return it at all; his heart dropped to the bottom of his chest.

He heard Oikawa say, “Damn you, why? You’re so pretty and you ruined your beauty, why can’t you see that you’re perfect? You're so smart and you have everything that I don't. Fuck you, Tobio-chan. I _hate_ you so much!”

His heart was pounding and Oikawa’s right fist is hitting his chest lightly without effort. Oikawa sounds so mad yet at the same time _caring?_

Tobio frowned.

“I just can’t understand my lessons and there’s only a month left until finals. I’m going to fail and then stay for an-another y-year-” his voice turns into a sob halfway, “ah fuck and I’m in love and I can’t like a guy because then that’d mean I’m gay, right? My parents would hate me and he doesn’t _even_ love me back. He says I have everything but he has it all. People love him and they don't love me. I have to give up volleyball if I fail and if they find out- fuck. I can’t see my future anymore and I’m not being saved and just damn it all!”

There’s silence and Oikawa buried his face deeply into the sweater of his and he felt so warm. Warm like a blazing fire; fire to show light in the dark pit- there’s a hand reaching out of the light, he hesitates in touching it.

He grabbed the hand and he saw it, he saw Oikawa standing there, but there was this lingering voice in his head making him doubt. So many doubts and thoughts are going on in his head. He can’t get them out.

Tobio felt a peck on his cheek. He blushed into a deep shade of pink. Oikawa chuckled.

“You’re perfect just this way, Tobio-chan.”

“N-no, I’m not. I’m dumb and you hate me, why are you even kissing me?”

_(ah, shit. he’ll hate me even more. stupid me)_

“Because I like you even though I’m not supposed to and you’re so pretty and I like pretty and dumb guys like you. I like everything about you, so what’s wrong if I want to kiss you?”

“N-nothing really.”

“Then can we seal the deal?”

He knitted his eyebrows together and he swore he heard the damn brunette say, ‘ _cute’._

“What deal?”

“Just let me save you already,” the brunette whispered frustratingly into the silent room.

“Save me.”

**Author's Note:**

> gah, i don't know if this angst, but i guess i tried?  
> -  
> this story is also dedicated to those who suffer from depression, anxiety, attacks, ptsd, and others. i know how hard it is to get over it and sometimes things aren't as hopeful as it goes in this story, but i wanted to show that everybody is beautiful so don't hurt your pretty self. sometimes we just need somebody specifically to save us. so, if you're going through such a time, talk to someone. it's easier said than done but we're humans, right? for those who think they're ugly, hated upon: you are pretty and loved by someone out there. so stay strong, people out there. (^-^)  
> -  
> thanks for reading, you can either talk to me abt it on my [tumblr](https://chrischaa.tumblr.com) or just chat about oikage or anything :)


End file.
